Originally Posted by
Forourgirls 
^ sounds just like my exs. My ex turned his dad into a saint-literally. Started praying to him, etc. It was awful to see the level of denial - it was heartbreaking and scary at the same time. Bonds of silence and dysfunction in that family. Family get togethers should have been wearing name cards: hello, my name is: alcoholic, abuser, molester....but look at us-we are one big happy family and don't you dare say otherwise or dare talk about anything truthful-we prefer to live in denial land! Yay!! (Can you tell I'm happy to be out?! God blessed!)
The same here-- when we dated and early years of marriage it was all this disclosure about how horrific his family had been, how abusive, how dysfunctional and how he wanted to break that cycle and we would have a lovely family etc... And then the deeper he got into his own addiction(s) - alcohol, porn and god knows what else- the more the rose colored lenses came out and he denied and minimized all that he'd told me about his family and I spent years feeling like I didn't know what to believe...
Of course my gut knew that the early stories were true bc his family showed time and time again with how horribly they treated me and our kids (basically put xAH in the role of choosing sides and he always sided with approving with the bad treatment of his family toward me and our kids) what sick people they were/are