It’s very hard losing anyone we’ve grown close and comfortable with. I am sorry you lost your friend and must say it is actually him who has the greater loss here, he’s lost you a great friend.
In the beginning of my journey to try and understand addiction the words baffling, cunning and powerful were words I would read and see often. The further along I went on my journey the more I began to understand those words and make some kind of logic out of the illogical and depersonalize it all. Heart still hurt, no lying there, but I was able to begin my own recovery from loving an addict.
It takes a commitment to oneself to want to go from “victim” filled with “I can’t” to a “survivor” filled with “I can”, “I will” and “I have hope”.
It was always easier for me to remain in the victim role because it was familiar and a sad place I became comfortable in. Being a survivor was faced with difficult decisions, decisions that had me doubting myself and feeling guilty about. Decisions to change my life, people in it and how I respond to unacceptable behavior from family, friends and co-workers were and are truly the best choices I’ve made so far while walking on this earth one day at a time.
I like this quote by Rose Kennedy……
It has been said, time heals all wounds, I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.