Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
I remember wishing when I was a kid and got to be friends with a girl in foster care, that I wished I was her-- I thought she was so lucky that something bad enough had happened to get her out of her home... I don't think I have ever told anyone that actually... When my own mother learned that I was hanging out with this girl (and probably feared I might let slip to her foster mom what life was like for me at my own home), I was banned from spending time with her ever again...
Friendships were not allowed bc I might spill the family "secrets" so I guess it makes it an even bigger deal for me and more deeply rooted in trigger emotional stuff that my one time best friend has reacted as she has because of my spilling her secret... I guess no matter what my age, Im expected by those close to me to keep their secrets...
I share that tale about foster care and my mom to say that I totally relate to why you'd have felt relieved that your mom died... I do get it... I am so sorry no one ever stood up for you or called to help keep you safe...
As for being brave and helping the kids of my friend, Im not so sure I accomplished anything in the long run... I think that I did do what was right and what I felt I had to, but I am jumping at every sound I hear, convinced the police are back and I will be in trouble despite doing nothing wrong. My "friend" is a well respected professional and puts on a good mom act and I am sure nothing will come of the CPS call other than that my former friend will hide things a lot more...
But I will hope and cross my fingers that she makes better choices for her kids... Sadly, I think that her call the police to lie and hope to throw me under the bus, to protect her loser abuser boyfriend, sort of shows the way she will proceed...
All I can think is "what if I did not have all those texts saved?" .... It's scary to have someone I trusted try and get me into legal trouble to cover up her own poor choices.... I guess Im still in scared and panicky mode and I realize it is irrational, but it's what it is....
I just wrote a big long reply to this and the site logged me off at some point before posting it.. Sigh..
Well, instead of trying to recreate all the anecdotal evidence and support for what I'm about to say, I'm just going to say it.
Those kids will stay in that household because of the exact reason you stated. She is a professional. And obviously a good liar. CPS, the courts, their father--next to nothing will get them a secure environment in or out of that house.
So you have a choice. Walk away or get that woman an intervention and an education on what is means to be a victim of domestic violence and a co-dependant alcoholic. And get that damn boyfriend out of the house. Pay him if you have to. :p
That's the only way to help those kids now.