Lance, forgive me if you have already mentioned your stance on faith but your original post reminds me SO much of myself. The perfectionism and inability to cope with life on life's terms. I found relief by giving faith in God a shot. I now have a very strong faith and it is literally everything I was missing in those days when trying to be perfect was failing miserably. It's an awfully lonely place to be - in your head with all these expectations and standards. I needed an unconditional love that no one, not even myself, is capable of giving 24/7. Taking up hobbies and filling our time is great but for a perfectionist like me, there was always an idle moment where I felt something was still missing. Faith and the 12 steps has allowed me to face and accept my shortcomings and life itself. Let me know if you want to talk more