Hi Lance, it is great that you posted. I am sorry you are experiencing this. I know that feeling of need, of wanting to just escape from everything for a while, though as you say, it is never the case. It is never as good as the idea makes it out to be and then of course there are all the negative consequences to deal with in addition to the original issues.
I apologise if you have mentioned this before, my memory is not so great, but do you have a substitute outlet? Can you take some time for yourself to go for a run or work out, or maybe put on some of your favourite music and turn off all the lights? I sometimes like to put on one or two particular songs, turn off all the lights and lay on the bare floor just focussing on the music. It helps to tune out everything else. Something about being on the floor helps too, not in a bed or on the couch. It is just me and the music.
I don't have much else useful to add but I did want to lend my support and let you know that I am thinking of you.