How do I know if I'm an addict?
A quick recap of my life.. Started using Coke in my early 20s, of course it started off as just once in awhile. Then escalated to every night.. Calling out of work bc of it, starting drinking too much to help 'bring me down'. I od'd a couple times and ended up in hospital.
In 2007 I started using adderall. Went to dr 'seeking it'. In my mind it was a legal way of obtaining that high.. It was like 'legal Coke' in my mind. I never abused it. Never snorted it. Took as prescribed. One time I ran out and couldn't get to a dr apt for 3 wks. Felt so awful I got Coke again. Since that time, I have no used Coke.
Now, 9 years later I'm trying to wean myself off adderall. I told my dr I want off and so far so good. I'm starting to wonder if once I'm off adderall if I'm gonna crave Coke again? I sometimes wonder who the real me is bc I'm not sure I remember. I don't remember what it's like to live without that 'high' feeling.
I don't want to live like this anymore.. even tho I haven't done Coke in tears and don't abuse my adderall.. am I an addict? I'm just trying to figure things out in my life right now. I'm just looking for people's insight who have been in my shoes before.. That's all..