ItsJustMe89

I need to go back to AA. I mean, not just attending 2 or 3 meetings a week at different groups each time. Because its hard to find consistent people that way. I think I need one group I go to every day at the same time. Just for the accountability and knowing that I can call it a home group and seeing the same people every day.

Then I can find someone who is always at that meeting at the same time every day. To ask to sponsor me. If I have a sponsor I will have direction whether I like it or not and I will be forced to make progress especially if my sponsor goes to the same meetings that I do. My biggest thing this time around, is wanting to get lead through the steps quicker then the last time. The last time, I got to 87 days sober and hadn't even completed step 3. I feel I need a spiritual experience a lot sooner then that so when the time comes where nothing is standing in the way of me and a drink, I will have a defense against it.

I don't know. honestly, I don't know what it is going to take to turn me into a normal human being. I am everything except normal. I am all kinds of messed up. I don't know the first thing about being a normal, average, functional person. Much less about being a happy and content person.