Hi all, I really appreciate the support, wanted to give an update: my doctor let me come home for bedrest on Thursday, hooray! I've been getting lots of rest and enjoying the comforts of home. My neighbors down the hall have been such a blessing--they are an older lesbian couple who never had kids and are very excited about my baby on the way, and they have been bringing in packages for me, bringing me hot dinners, so kind! It's amazing how life supplies the support you need.
It's been a challenge because I don't have any family here. My parents have both passed away, and brother and sister live far away. It's been a disappointment that my sister, in particular, just doesn't seem capable of being supportive, even in the ways that she might be from afar. She sent me flowers when I first was admitted to the hospital, but since then has barely been in touch. She has a long history of addiction, and she also has a related history of hypochondria that I think is partly fueled by her addiction to pain pills (a lot of her phantom illnesses coincidentally require narcotics) and partly to her narcissism/need for attention. She has been doing a little better the past few years, but I think that my hospitalization raised some issues for her. It might sound strange, but I think she is actually a little jealous! She hasn't been in touch for the past week, and then she wrote me today and asked very briefly how I'd been doing, and then quickly changed the topic to her escalating fears about her son's health, which she offered as an excuse for not being in touch. He is five now, and I've noticed that her health anxieties are projected on him a lot. She has been mentioning for years that she fears he is autistic. She works with autistic kids and so is hyper-aware of the symptoms. For a while she kept mentioning that he was flapping his hands but said the experts were telling her it wasn't autism, but she has continued to pursue a diagnosis and now reports he sometimes slaps his knees or crotch when he's excited. She says she has been talking to her pediatrician who has told her to go to a special university center if she wants to pursue it. As far as I can tell, he is a high functioning, social kid and I'm really suspicious of all this. So it just feels weird that she is escalating her pursuit of an autism diagnosis at the same time that I've been hospitalized and am getting ready to give birth. Anyway, this is a little O/T, except that it's the latest challenge in dealing with my addicted/NPD sister, sigh.
As for me, my blood pressure has been under control at home and I'm hoping that will continue and my doctor will give me a little time before he wants to induce. I'm 36 and a half weeks now and hope I can let the little guy cook for a while longer! It's nice to be home where I can nest a little here and there--trying not to do too much, but I think I've got everything the little guy needs in place, now just waiting on the little guy!
It's been so good to be reminded by you guys that this stress around how/when he will be delivered is just the final phase before I get to meet my baby!
