Originally Posted by
again2016 
But it still hurts so much
Of course it does.
If it helps, I was at the brink of stepping outside of my boundaries when confronted by (former or still active user?) adult son (irrational behavior and unreasonable requests) recently but was able to stay focused and also practiced some of what I've learned here at SR to keep me on track. Though depressed, I was relieved I chose that path.
Good luck from another mama who cares.