Please be kind and gentle with yourself, please. You have
been through so much and made healthy decisions once you
understood what was happening.
Self love is something codependents have to teach & learn
themselves as most did not get that programmed into their
hard drive during childhood.
So be kind & gentle to yourself as you review your progress
over the last 5 years. Thinking that you should have done it
better, or faster, or smarter, is "picking" on yourself. Don't do
it. For every negative thought, remind yourself of something
good and right that you did, and no matter how hard, you did it.
And with your experience, you have insight into what it is that
can break through such denial, and likely can be of help to others.