Originally Posted by
Thumpalumpacus 
One has to see that one's partner is doing the same. That is exactly why one doesn't surrender judgement.
Which is exactly the problem that so many of us codependents have. We lack discernment about people, we think "judgment" is a bad word. That if we only try hard enough, we can FIX our addict.
We get fooled. And many times it's because of our own inner issues.