Originally Posted by
Wisconsin 
I'm so very sorry you are dealing with all of this. First of all, let me tell you, without a doubt, that his attempts to blame his drinking and depression on the fact that he "doesn't want to be in a relationship" with you is complete and utter bullcrap. Totally typical alcoholic deflection and projection.
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Hi WI... I agree in your case and MANY cases this is true (more so than my case). But please read my response for my experience. This "could" be the case where they really mean no harm to others - and yes, this is selfish, but they could being doing the partner a favor.