There is a direct causative link in the title of your post.
I am relatively new to the insanity of alcoholism and had a very short, sharp lesson in just how powerful it is and it appears you are having the same lesson. I understand how painful it is. Having that sheet of denial whipped away leaves you utterly devastated and in shock. The whole "oh I drank because I was unhappy in our relationship" line is unbelievable. If I had a pound (I'm British 🙂
for every time I read that in a post I'd be a rich woman. It was also said to me after 5 and a half years. If someone had told me this would happen I wouldn't have believed them. No way, he's different and special and people don't understand what we have. But it did happen and as you will learn it happens A LOT. It's scary just how similar people become once they are in the grips of addiction.
Your head will be spinning and nothing will makes sense for a while but if you can take anything in let it be this: nothing you did caused this. There is nothing wrong with you and what he has said is not true. It is the reaction of an addict and in no way a reflection of your self worth. Read up on addiction. It will save your sanity. Your post was my post (and many others). You will be ok xx