redatlanta

I'm sorry I think my post was confusing. I wasn't saying he cheated. The cheating example was in regard to actions vs. alcoholism. Many people excuse actions by blaming it on the alcohol. Sure, someone slurring their words, falling down, acting stupid, and so forth are results of being drunk. Someone saying they never loved you, have been in a relationship they didn't want etc....that's THEM, not alcohol.

Many folks will divide an alcoholic into the "drunk person" and "sober person". Its the same person, its not two people.

Again, I have no idea whether what he felt for you was real - his actions would speak otherwise. At the end of the day his actions were extremely hurtful and unnecessary. Its not necessary to belittle you, embarrass you, confuse you, and blame you to break up with you. What you are seeing the "real him", you will always be blamed by this person for everything in life that goes wrong.

Marriage is difficult. This guy has no coping skills and has the inability to communicate in a healthy or positive way. Let's just say he did really mean that he had wanted out of the relationship for a long time - the first you heard about it was months after the fact. In YOUR time of need when you lost a loved one he couldn't be bothered.

i know its very difficult for you, however; try and look at his actions here at the end. They are so lacking in compassion or kindness, full of blame and quite mean. That's what life would be like with him - not the good months. A relationship is only as good as when its really at its worst. If this is what the bad times will be like (and trust me, they will always be bad times and they will always be handled by him the same way) NO THANKS.