"Your red flag was this from the first kiss we both agreed that there was just something special between us. The word love doesn't quite describe the connection between us. He was my soul mate. This kind of immediate feeling is a BIG HUGE RED FLAG."
Thank you all for your responses. I truly appreciate your insight. I do want to point out that I do agree that love is built with two equal partners over time. The love I have for my ex was not something that I felt instantly. We merely felt a connection, trust, and mutual respect instantly. Our relationship was built within a difficult long distance relationship over many hours with much effort and love between both of us. We both spent thousands of dollars to fly back and fourth every other week at over $800 a flight. We shared truthfully our greatest hopes and deepest fears. We had each other's backs through thick and thin. Although he may have always been drinking on some level...He put as much love and effort into making long distance work as I did for the first ten months and it is not an easy thing. I do not believe that he has ever cheated on me. The texts he was lying about were to his sister about potentially taking a job in NYC. He lied because we had never discussed this change in plans.