Minus the alcoholism I could have written this story about my last relationship prior to RAH.
The problem here is that all the blame is going to the alcoholism. Alcohol does a lot of things, but it doesn't make people do things they don't want to. Nobody cheats because they are an A, they cheat because they are a cheater. Your red flag was this from the first kiss we both agreed that there was just something special between us. The word love doesn't quite describe the connection between us. He was my soul mate. This kind of immediate feeling is a BIG HUGE RED FLAG. The wonderful man you fell for is the man you see NOW he is not doing these things because he is drunk. He is doing them because he most likely has a personality disorder, or is simply a sociopath with no conscience. I can't say whether his feelings were real or not what I can say is that these types people don't do well after the honeymoon phase wears off.
On top of this you are dealing with alcoholism. Alcoholism is a disease of denial.....you are getting a whole lot of blame shifting here see its not HIS fault he drinks its YOUR fault he drinks. Mmmmm hmmm. Alcoholics don't like for anyone or anything to come between them and their drink. You became a mirror for him to face his problems and if you had not had a problem with him drinking to black out obnoxiousness he might not have ended it.
I am really sorry because I know how painful this is for you I have been there. I'd like to say that he will leave you in peace, but I doubt it. Mine still contacts me 8 years later, even though I am married, even though he makes me vomit in my mouth he STILL does.