Originally Posted by
thomas11 
It't my nature. And its kind of complicated. I've had very important people in my life make "absolute" statements or promises while sober and while intoxicated and not follow through with those promises. It made me think less of them, permanently. I'm old school, a man is only as good as his word. So I avoid boxing myself in and rarely make absolute statements. If I was to say, "I will never let alcohol touch my lips again for the rest of my life", and 2 years from now I have complete meltdown and go on a bender, well now I've broken that promise and what are those people who I made that statement to going to think of me. They are going to think I'm an untrustworthy failure. And a liar. And weak. Right? And the mean ones are going to rub it in my face to make me feel even worse because it makes them feel good to make others feel horrible about themselves.
I think I understand what you're saying. I'm pretty much the same way. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it. That's the way I was raised. Something big would have to happen before I don't follow through on a promise. But if something does happen, I'll apologize to that person and move on. If that person doesn't accept my apology then that's on that person. As long as I did my best and I'm honest with myself, I'm fine. I think it's the same with drinking. If I commit myself to not drinking and manage a few years and something really trumatic happens and I messed up then maybe coming on SR and saying sorry, I blew it, makes sense, then move on. If some people have an issue with it, that's on them. It really doesn't matter if someone gets on my case for screwing, as long as I'm honest with myself. That to me is what's really important. John