I was going to write exactly whst anvil wrote-you sound like me a few years ago! (No harm intended),...but honestly, I was so in to understanding each little thing about my ex, managing things, etc that I did seem like a caseworker rather than a wife at times! It's the only way I knew to keep myself and my kids safe-but it was an awful way to live. I agree that maybe instead if focusing in HIM you should focus on how this will (not maybe, it will) impact your children and what foundation this is creating for them in life. I heard a lot about saving him, making sure he doesn't commit suicide, etc....and I understand mental illness, but that doesn't mean you have to stay on this crazy train! The fact that you question if you did the right thing about calling in the DUI let's me know you are on the crazy train and too worried about what he will think (and I am allowed to say that as a former member of the crazy train group that was too worried about what my husband would think of me!). Anyway, just my two cents...based on what you posted.