Hi ladyscribbler,
Thanks for your reply... I understand what you're saying but I think you're a little off base with it. It's not exactly me attempting to analyze what is in his head if I am going by direct statements made by him. As far as me causing him to hit bottom, no that is not true and I know that... he caused himself to hit bottom and I got out of his way to let him do it rather that trying to get him to stop.
My intention when I called police was not for him to hit bottom, that was a bonus that I was not counting on or expecting, my reason for calling was that he was a danger to himself and others and if something happened to a child while I knew that he was drunk driving and I didn't say anything about it, I could not live with myself. I did it because it was the right thing to do, not because I wanted to force a bottom.
Also, it is not just alcoholism, it is bipolar disorder so his state of mind is a real factor. I spoke with his therapist and told her everything and SHE said that it was best to try to keep it from him, at least while he is still so mentally unstable and going through withdrawals and his first week of treatment and sobriety. She does not think that he can handle it and feels that it will trigger relapse and possible suicide.
As far as stepping back and letting it out of my hands, his addiction is out of my hands and so is his choice for treatment, though the mental health issues are something that he needs support with in order to focus on his own recovery. I am working with the therapist and his doctor to find the healthiest balance without enabling anything. Obviously it will continue to take work, but I think you might be projecting a bit.