saggirl1125

I just posted about how I was just starting to get hit with the feelings that I have been suppressing over the past few months of his relapse. One of the situations that I am struggling most with is my decision to call the police, which resulted in a DUI for him.

ABF went to rehab after the police found him face down between two cars with a busted head and ribs in the parking lot of Walmart during a snow storm. they had called me to pick him up, I refused and said to take him to a detox because I wasn't his babysitter... he went to rehab 2 days later but left AMA 2 days later and came home. Condition was that he had to see a psychiatrist and go to a partial care program for dual diagnosis immediately then IOP in order to stay home. Snow storm the next day closed the treatment center and he was left inside his own alcoholic mind for the weekend... you can guess how that went.

So after still drinking for the weekend, Monday he's supposed to start the program. I get the kids ready for school and wake him up to get ready for me to drive him. He locks himself in the bathroom and comes out stumbling 30 mins later with a pint and a half of empty vodka bottles. I tell him that I am still taking him to the treatment center and following their orders as to how handle the situation.

While I thought he was passed out a few mins after the convo, I took a ride to the corner to get a cup of coffee... literally gone 5 mins, I get back and he's gone! took his spare set of keys that I forgot about and drove off... I called him and he could barely speak he was so drunk by that point... it was 830am and kids were at bus stops, including ours! How could I with a good conscience let this go? I left him messages and texts saying to pull over and tell me where he is so I can get him off the road at least. He had no idea where he was an all he could tell me was the name of a side street that he had passed. So, I google the street and called that townships police department, not 911, the main office number. I told him the last known location, all of his info and that I was sure that he was drunk. I told them that I didn't want him to know that it was me who called, but gave them my name first without thinking...police ask me a question, I answer, just didn't even think about telling them I don't want to give a name...

They asked me for his phone number because he wasn't at the location I gave and disbatch wound up on the phone with him for 40 mins trying to get him to tell them where he was and pull over. He finally tells them he's in a diner parking lot in the next townover and 2 mins later the next towns cops show up while he's urinating with his pants all the way down, facing the street and kept peeing as they approached him... nice right!

So, he got a dui, refused a breathalyzer, a charge for lewd public act (the peeing issue), reckless driving and careless driving. So, he got a lawyer.

While I don't regret calling at all and it is actually the bottom he needed to really get serious about treatment for the first time, I also do not want him to know the extent of how involved I was with his arrest. I told him that I spoke to the police and called them back and gave them his number after a complaint was made about him by someone else, but Im sure it will show in the discovery evidence that I actually made the complaint and all that I said.

It's not really that Im afraid of him being mad or leaving me or anything like that really, it's more complicated. He was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder after the arrest when he broke down and went to the treatment center finally. the day of the arrest, he had said that he was planning to driving into a tree so he could die and his son wouldn't know it was a suicide. I'm pretty much the only one he trusts because of paranoia and the only one in his life that doesn't just enable him (I really try not to, though sometimes fail). I know with certainty that if he finds out that it was me before he is completely stable, he will go off the deep end, relapse and most likely try to die. That would obviously be counter productive to what I was going for by turning him in. Im just really worried about him finding out because he is FINALLY turning things around and I don't want this to screw that up. Not sure what to do though...

I asked his lawyer if I could speak to him confidentially about him and the case and plan on being 100% honest and open about every detail of that day and the situation with him so that maybe he can advise me or help figure out how this should be handled... I really hope he decides to speak to me...

Has anyone else reported their SO and had them find out through discovery evidence?