This one's easy. yes get your name on everything If your house doesn't have your name on it, do your credit cards? If not, changing that would be a good idea.
While you're calling Alanon, ask if they have any ideas for sitters if there is no meeting w/ children.
In my humble opinion, what you're feeling is normal. That's the deal.....you can express all of those emotions in a meeting. It will take time, but you'll begin to feel better.
I know what you mean about experiencing "feeling good when he experiences pain." I know when our A experiences remorse and pain, I get this artificial hope that swells and says "maybe this time he'll really change." I'm working on that. I don't want my feelings to be a result of what he's feeling and doing. I want my feelings to be just that - my feelings.
It'll take time.
Don't know if this will help.....I called a friend in Alanon and she said to remember that my A has a Higher Power and I'm not it!!!!! Somehow that got through this thick head o mine.
Reikihelps
(((Michele)))