sometimes we have no choice but the change the movie. you are dealing with someone who absolutely refuses to see there IS a problem and shuts down ANY talk of her changing her drinking behaviors in the slightest. you've only been married for four years? and THIS has been going on for at least the last two.........
keep going to alanon......your "needs and wants" may change over time and if so the program has more to offer you. that F2F interaction with others who know exactly what you are dealing with helps immensely.
IMHO any intervention should be conducted by a professional and should be a well thought out and well planned exercise. you must also be fully willing to accept FAILURE of the intervention to bring about YOUR desired results.