No ma'am you are NOT weak.
Go after that child support. I really, really understand your thought process here, but the reality is that the wider the berth he has been given, the greater advantage he has taken. You are still walking on eggshells.........time to stop.
I'd put a noose on him so tight for everything he has done he can't breathe. File contempt for each and every thing you can. You should be able to file with your state for the child support without having to hire an attorney - they should assign one to you.
Take your power back.