Morning all
Day 35 today. I have been feeling better these past few days - cravings are much better and I'm trying for even just 20minutes on the tread mill every day. Considering how much I was eating and sitting, this is a big step for me. The scale is reacting positively - but it's a long long way to go.
I was looking at old pictures from anywhere between 10 years ago to just 3 years ago - I was such a pretty woman! Gosh, I remember seeing those pics when they were taken and saying how ugly and fat I was. Now, I look back and think: what was wrong with me? I was a good looking woman! Alas, the 60 pounds I've gained from drinking in the last 3 years has robbed me of that ... But maybe I can get there again. I know drinking won't get me there.
Tomorrow is a big day for me: flying to NYC for a final interview with the executive. I'm a bit nervous, but I have two other opportunities at different firms so I'm trying to not get crazy like I usually do. I have to believe that what's meant to be, will be. At least I know I'm going into this sober and will make decisions with a clear mind. I'm still not over my regret that I quit my job in the middle of a bender before the holidays and all those bridges I burned there, but that's the past and I have to look forward.
Drinking robbed me of career, self worth and friends. It won't win or be in my life anymore. I deserve better.
Sorry for the long post, this is the only place I can come and be open and free. You guys are amazing and are a part of the reason I'm sober for over a month. Couldn't have done it without you.
Congrats to all who are reaching 30 today, this week and to everyone who is taking it one minute at a time.