DesertEyes

Yes, I know what you mean, I had that problem too. Al-anon meetings tend to specialize quite a bit. If you look at their website you will find meetings that are focused on parents of alkies, others just for men, others for teens, and so on. There are some meetings focused on ACoA issues, which I have found to be very useful for me.

The difficulty is when a meeting specializes, but does _not_ list that specialization in the directories. I am going to a meet right now that says "step study" in the directory, but _everybody_ there is an ACoA and we talk about ACoA issues. You _really_ have to shop around the al-anon meets to see what they are _really_ focused on.

Another option is the program of ACoA itself. There's a lot less meetings of those than al-anon, so if you are not in a large city there may not be any of those at all. However, if you look in the ACoA website there are a lot of telephone and on-line meetings. Not as good as face to face, but still good.

Awesome. That sounds to me like a "boundary" that says you will no longer take on the role of "peace-maker" for that particular situation.

Ok. If you are worried that they may think that way the usual suggestion in recovery is to _plan_ for it. Suppose somebody in your family _does_ think bad, what would you do? Would you share it with somebody, like your therapist? Would you ignore it? Would you suggest they go to a meeting themselves? Hand them a book on alcohplism?

The slogan is "Hope for the best, plan for the worst". The objective is to _not_ be caught unprepared when something bad happens. I don't know about you, but most ACoA's are _really good_ planners.

Totally. Sounds to me like you are well into your recovery. I thinks that's awesome, you've got half this battle already won.

Oh yes, and you are most welcome to keep posting here as much as you want. That's what SR is for.

Mike