I agree with what some of you say, I do need a backup plan. I have left the house a few times in the middle of the night when he came home extremely drunk and when I did not want anything to do with him he got angry and started yelling. I'd rather stay at a hotel than bother my sister because she works early in the morning. And I absolutely would not want to go to my parents about it because I'm not very close to them.
We have already agreed to split the tax refund and I plan on buying things the kids and I need and saving a lot of it, either in my own savings account or a hiding place in case I need quick cash.
I haven't worked out of the home since having kids. Daycare in my state is one of the most expensive in the country, and wages here aren't that great. Basically I would be working to put my kids in daycare and I would lose their state health insurance so I would have to pay for that too. I work online making maybe $500 or $600 a month which I usually spend on groceries or bills after he spends several hundred either at the bar or for beer at home.
I didn't mean I like being broke long-term. It's just nice to have a few nights here and there where he isn't drinking.