Thanks for all the replies and hugs
x
I've re read my original post and I hope I haven't made my husband out to be a horrible person, really he isn't.
I really don't think any of last night was deliberately meant to taunt or bully me. He literally just doesn't get it. He doesn't have an obsession with wine like me so he didn't even think that me being next to it, smelling it, pouring it etc would be of any concern to me. He's also not good at picking up on others' emotions at all and can sometimes come across as being insensitive without realising it in the slightest. I think it's a family thing. His twin brother's exactly the same but worse, and his dad is in a whole different league. His mum spoiled both the boys terribly when they were young, and they are used to getting their own way. He's got his flaws, as do I, but he is kind, caring and funny, and he does love me.
When I asked him about it last night he seemed to think that it was the same thing as him not having a glass of wine when I and others did because he was about to do a night shift!
He just didn't seem to get why that is NOT the case at all!!
But then, later in the night when I couldn't sleep and wanted to get up and have a cup of tea, he got really cross as he seemed convinced I was going to go and drink (even though that was the last thing on my mind) and said 'I'm not putting you to bed again.' Like, totally mixed messages!
I didn't pursue it because it was late when he came to bed and he had to get up for work early today. Think you are right, I'll sit him down tonight and have a serious chat.