After reading about several medications, if I do end up going that route, that, Librium, does sound like the way to go.
I still don't know that I have a doctor to call is part of my concern, even if so I don't know that she wouldn't insist on inpatient care. I do have high blood pressure, and it's moderately well controlled by medication and having finally been diagnosed with sleep apnea (I've had a snoring issue since well before my drinking got serious, but I had no idea how serious THAT could be on its own). When I check my blood pressure at home, I tend to fall around the borderline range now, but my anxiety is always high at medical appointments and it always initially reads much higher and usually lowers as I settle in, drinking or no. Then again, maybe that's just an excuse for fear of outcomes.
I just left a job after the injury that left me unable to work there that contributed to all of this, and I haven't gotten a clear answer on my insurance status. I'm still waiting on her to return the paperwork to agree to my medical leave on this injury, and there's a chance my old HR will disagree with it no matter what, but hopefully they will and I'll be able to return (large employer, I just need more experience outside the company to get where I want to be). If she finds my request suspicious, due to timing, or mentions it to HR, I will certainly never find a job there before, which kind of upsets all of my plans. Besides, again, fears she'd insist I be hospitalized. I have tax returns coming, I could possibly pay the hospital bills, but then my wounded car is left ready to die and my new job an hour away.
Too much overlap, too much at once, all of it my fault.
Sorry, I didn't realize that tapering advice was disallowed here, though I'd seen talk of disallowing "medical advice" on another site as well. Boundaries there are wishy washy, I should find the rules here since I would like to actually get post-sobriety support and advice here even so. I would have titled this differently as well, by now it's less about tapering and more about wading through the mess I've made and looking for the best branch to grab onto to pull myself out.