Shell,
Welcome and I am glad you finally posted. Your story is truly sad, thinking about little shell, so alone in the world. It is tragic that no school teacher or therapist reached out to help you with what you were dealing with. The wonderful thing now is that you can reach out to people who "so" understand what you have gone through. Normal people could not comprehend what you have gone through with your short life, but people on SR can. That's what makes us different here.
First off I am glad you got the courage to post. That is your first issue, acknowledging what was so wrong. You are a SURVIVOR! If what you lived with wasn't abuse I don't know what would be. Talking about it and reliving that this all happened to you is very scary, but you are taking ownership of how you were wronged.
Once you accept that, how can you move forward? How can you have a happy marriage and wonderful healthy kids? This is what you are tackling before marriage and before kids, so this will never ever happen. First off it will never happen because you don't have the "disease". You have to own what happened to you and let your husband know the scars that you have. But those scars mean that you survived the WAR!!
Alanon, and like Dandy said support for adult children of alcoholics is a great place to start. I would also seek a therapist who can support you with the abuse you lived with. That's right, it was abuse!!
I do have to say dealing with your parents is something that you will struggle for ever with. You can never expect anything from them, but you can learn how to set up boundaries towards them. It is a process and takes a lot of work, but in the long run, it will make you a much happier person. Slowly with owning what happened to you over your childhood, you can move forward, you can have a wonderful and happy life. You have a wonderful man who will help and support you on this journey.
Hugs my friend, SR is the place for you. We all understand and have compassion for one another. Do your home work on yourself and your "new" life will fall into place as God has planned for you!!