Dad23

Hey all,

I would really appreciate everyone's thoughts on this. SR has been a great place of support for me and I'm hoping this will contribute to the discussion.

Without boring you with the ugly details - let's just say that I was a terribly heavy and chronic drinker for 10+ years. That I had tried everything under the sun to quit - and nothing worked.

Then, purely by accident, I discovered something about myself - I quit - and I have never looked back. Something simply clicked in my brain and that's it.

Here's what happened....

Over the past 10 years, my job regularly took me away to remote job sites that are drug and alcohol free. These trips are typically 1-2 weeks long and I would have to go "dry" on these trips. It got to the point that I was somewhat relying on these jobs to detox and heal up a bit.

The funny thing was - I would be JUST FINE on these trips - no urges, no anxiety, no trauma. (That is, of course, after the first day's hangover, as I would be drinking heavily on the evening before the trip!)

As soon as I would arrive at the site and get settled in - it's as if my drinking problem disappeared! I was normal.

But as soon as I got back to civilization though - I'd be right back into the bottle. I would be on the charter flight home just itching to get my first drink - and then of course many more...

This pattern repeated itself hundreds of times over the last 10 years. It got to the point that I even contemplated taking a permanent job on one of these sites. I figured that at least I would have half a year not poisoning myself to death!

So, what did this all mean? What was the difference? It would be easy to say that I was simply on a site where there was no booze - so I couldn't drink. But I had been in dozens of places (concerts, parks, school functions, etc.) where I couldn't drink - and I was a lunatic!

The difference was that I had NO EXPECTATION to drink. My conscious mind told my subconscious mind to forget about it - and I was just fine. These trips had forced me to peel away the layers of the onion - I wasn't chemically addicted - I was psychologically attached to my expectation of a drink. As soon as that expectation was gone - I could stop drinking.

So, I turned the tables on myself, I eliminated the expectation in my mind that I would have a drink - regardless of where I was. And, as any problem drinker will know, if you don't have drink #1 - you won't have drink #10. I simply live my days now with no expectation of drinking. I'm not denying myself anything. I'm not being cheated. I'm not relying on willpower to tame my subconscious urges. I don't expect it - I don't drink anymore.

I know that this will sound over simplified - but it has not been. Granted, I've had to deal with some of the health issues arising from my chronic alcohol abuse and the PAW symptoms have been rough. I have been quit drinking now more than 2 months and I can count up my serious urges on one hand.

Please let me know what you all think about this. Maybe someone else will have a similar experience. Maybe this will help someone else. If you have any questions, let me know.

Thanks!