Day 49. Rough weekend but am back and still sober. Trying to combat anxiety about money and job. We are ok financially for now, but part of me is waiting for other shoe to drop. Realizing that I have a habit of living on high alert, scanning for the next crisis so it won't catch me by surprise. I know that it's not healthy to live in this hyper-viligent fear-based limbo so working daily to be mindful and defuse the ticking time bomb. I think that's why going numb it so tempting - to escape for that. Another lesson to learn.
Have a good day all.