Originally Posted by
jessie65 
...come evening I swear I'm twiddling my thumbs (and eating everything in sight)...
... I'm still desperately waiting for my miracle.
...I remember something Dee said about how sobriety won't fit into your old lifestyle so you need to create a new one. That makes so much sense to me but I guess I'm not sure how to do that? Aside from moving or changing jobs which I'm unable to do right now. I rarely hung out with drinking friends, I drank alone.
Just looking for ideas I guess, to keep me on track. I think I'm losing my mind.
Hi Jessie.
It sounds like you know what you need to do really. You've removed alcohol but not done the work to replace it with other things, and are floundering and feeling lost.
It does take time to get new habits in place. The thing is, 'nothing changes if nothing changes'. You can wait for your miracle as long as you like, but unfortunately it's down to each of us to take action. I, like you, spent the first chunk of sobriety sitting on my sofa, stuffing my face. I, like you, started to wonder what I was doing this for. Then I realised that I had to do something different. That was in April 2014, and I've been trying 'different' stuff since then.
The first thing I did was lean into my fear, and finally go along to my first AA meeting, then my second and third, and forth. I tried different meetings til I found ones that suited me. This meant that I finally made some sober friends. Other lovely ladies who understand me, and the way I think, and who are also eager to find non-drinking activities and entertainment. For me, there's just a few people who've turned into daily life friends, but they are close and valuable friendships, and we have fun going out and about. Even if just for coffee and a mooch round the shops.
Other things I've tried (not all of them have been a roaring success for various reasons, but those ones I stopped - and I've not regretted giving any of them a go)...
Bootcamp (for fitness) - really enjoyed it but logistically impractical as tight time-wise getting back from work, or I'd have carried that on.
Joining a book group , and also going to local author events.
Going to local theatre productions (I never went before because I didn't have anyone to go with. Finally thought 'sod it, I'll go on my own' and actually this is a great thing to do alone as you're not supposed to be chatting anyway)
Joined a choir (LOVE this - it really cheers me up)
Doing a creative writing course (this is a recent addition, so early days, but am loving it)
Spending more time with my family - and really enjoying it because I'm not watching the time wondering when I'm going to get a drink.
Volunteering - creche and tea duties once a month each; and marshalling for local running group when they have events.
Bell ringing. (Let's not go into that one)
Dress making (when I have a LOT of time on my hands. I'm very slow at this!!)
Going for coffee and cake with one of my lovely sober friends
Joined the beginners course with the running club (loved this, even though I'm def a turtle not a hare. Will do it again when they next do one - just wish they did it all year round).
Trying new recipes
Going for walks
Think back to what you used to enjoy before alcohol took over, and keep an eye (and your mind) open for posters when you're out and about or in your local library (I use the camera on my phone to take pics of any posters that look interesting as my memory is awful). If you're anything like me, you'll be surprised just how much has been going on in your area while you've been busying yourself with alcohol. Most clubs and societies are happy for people to come along for a trial session or two before committing to joining.
Anyway. Whatever you decide to do, please don't spend too much more time sitting on your sofa waiting for the Recovery Fairy to pay you a visit - you need to get off you bum and go look for her
Let us know what you try out and how it goes
