Hi Thump,
As much as I truly feel that my ex husband gave up on me, I know my drinking caused me to behave in ways I am truly embarrassed about, and they affected my marriage.
The drinking was there to mask an almost unbearable amount of pain and having a relationship was just not healthy.
It's the only way. Putting down the bottle and organizing your thoughts and feelings here and starting from the small seed of your own wellbeing will certainly ripple out over time to create better patterns. And love will be welcomed.