Good morning everyone. 6 a.m. over here in the
Sunshine State and I'm hoping for a better day. I'm actually starting to think that my bouts of anger are some form of anxiety attack because when I am in them they are very hard to snap out of and I do very irrational things
(throwing, yelling, cursing). I need to break this cycle somehow as my 4 year old is already having issues controlling his emotions and I blame myself for that.
Woke up with a hangover feeling this morning- weird headache and very thirsty. I remember reading a few of you going through this and now I know what you were talking about. Got out of bed at 4:50, got some water and a Tylenol and got back in bed to do a guided meditation on my iPod. It wasn't what I expected but it was still good
(primarily focused on breathing). When I got out of bed again I was kinda loopy! So I suppose the meditation worked on relaxing me
This morning will be a test: I have to get us out of the house 20 minutes earlier so I can go register my 4 year old for school next year. I intend to stay calm and cool and thanks to Olivia's words of wisdom I packed DS's lunch last night and have his clothes ready in the family room. If I don't want to struggle to dress my little guy
(the one who does the alligator roll while I try to dress him) I will just take him out the door in his pjs, no big deal.
Thanks again for all the support, I know I sounded crazy which again is why I am looking into possible reasons for this tunnel vision I get during certain situations.
Sobriety wise I am doing well- my AV came out the other day but was quickly and easily shut down. It was trying to convince me to take my lo to lunch after his music class so I could drink wine and eat pizza
(there's a yummy vegan pizza place near his class.) I laughed at the idea and told it to bugger off.
Today is day 17 and I am grateful for every minute I am sober. Life really is worth living when you have the freedom to live it and aren't obsessed with a feeling that will never be attainable again
(was it ever real to begin with?)
Happy Sober Friday my friends....
~P
Quote of the day: