At this point, Mama, I think if you both want to learn to communicate effectively and sensitively, you need to investigate marriage counseling. A neutral third party to provide a safe environment for you both to express your feelings and listen to each other. I can't say it will save your marriage, but it's not getting better by itself, and it sounds like neither of you know what to try next.
From what you report, it sounds like he is singularly interested in sex and as long as you are not providing it he will continue to inform you that you are failing him. Your feelings, needs, wants -- they don't seem to be a factor here. A counselor may be able to help with that better than an internet forum. If that is what you want, of course.