This is all because I told him I'm not ready to be intimate.
It goes deeper than that.
At the heart of any worthwhile sexual intimacy is trust and being emotionally safe with the person you're with. When addiction is present in a marriage, trust and emotional safety go out the window, and that's because the addict operates on one set of rules, while the non-addict operates on another. What his behavior should be telling you is at this time, he is not capable of empathizing with
your needs. It doesn't matter how emotionally vulnerable you are. He expects you to meet
his needs, and that's because he feels entitled. This tells me while he may be abstaining from using, he's not in recovery. Not by a long shot.
Sex needs to be more about the physical act. It needs to be about the connection with that person and the faith and trust we have in that person. Without connection, faith and trust, sex means nothing.
Hold firm on your boundaries. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
Sorry you have to go through this.