Thanks, Fantail. I don't know if I'm so much as looking for silver linings as I am trying to remain aware that this treatment is supposed to be about me, so I'd best find the healing where I can. Oh wait, is that looking for silver linings? Maybe it is
I hope you got some sort of discount on your new rehab place - seems like maybe they should have done that "rehearsal" thing that new restaurants do: "Your stay is free as long as you try every craft class we offer, but not more than once."
So today I had to be at a client site gawdawful early, then drive back to the train to get to my meeting. Enjoyed the group portion quite a lot - there was a guy there that has a couple of months and a really great perspective. And I found no one particularly annoying. Though these folks that say the key to sobriety is to "keep it positive" are a little... I dunno, deluded? It's not always going to be positive. We are all going to face crappy stuff where it's impossible to "keep it positive." Then what? We still have to find the resolve to not drink/use.
I also had my first meeting with my case manager; got to do the social history thang. Ugh. I mean, I'm fine with it, I know I need to tell my life story as many times as it takes to get better, but it slays me every time. We came toward the end of the hour and she said we'd finish up Friday. (But wait, there's more?!?) And then she said, "So, bringing up this stuff can be really hard on people so I want us to put this all in a box and leave it in this room until we come back Friday. Where can we put it?" I told her I wanted to take the box with me and she said that wasn't an option - too risky; I might use. I knew that drinking wouldn't happen and she wasn't hearing or accepting me saying that I did not know how to leave it, so told her we could stash the box behind the lamp. But I took it with me anyhow. I know I'm only as sick as my secrets, but every time I put them out there for someone to hold onto, it seems I get way worse. The best that's ever worked out was with the last psychologist I was seeing - he helped with some stuff, but definitely not the darkest places.
Speaking of leaving things where they are unsafe, I foolishly left the delicious beef jerky I had left over from last night where the dog could reach it. He had himself a good old time tearing up that bag while I was gone. Good thing I got more. And I'm not telling him where I put it neither.