Hi sammibee, i know how u feel. Ive been regularly binge drinking for the last 10 years, the last 2 ive been drinking on the odd morning & doing it secretly. I too have a great partner & 2 gorgeous boys (2 & 3) im a police officer, so i have all the ticks in the box, but when it gets too much i turn to wine, ill drink until its gone!!! Ive made such a t**t of myself on several occasions & the shame i felt was awful.
In oct i finally accepted that im an alcoholic, i felt relief & its been the nest decision ive made.
It took a while to get my head round the 'nnever being able to drink again) but 3 months down the road i dont feel that bothered anymore.
I read a great book 'ddrinking, a love story' by Caroline Knapp (amazon) so relatable & very helpful. But the 1 difference which has been my saviour has been here on this site talking to other people who know exactly what ur talking about!!! I didnt do AA probably for 5he sa.e reasons as u, i just dont have the balls in case i recognised. Good luck & keep posting.x