Amy,
Hugs my friend, you are grieving!!!!!!! Own that, your life is totally changing.
I went through the same thing you did being married 26 years. Last child left for college, sold our biz that we had together for 22 years, was unemployed, oldest child came out gay, marriage was a disaster. Talk about stressers. I felt like I was in a bottomless pit and looking for my husband to pull me out. Needless to say he had friends and a life and was to busy living it. He couldn't help as he never had helped me, he couldn't help himself. I was always in survival mode and kept busy with the kids not realizing my life was a wreck. Now everyone was gone and I had to be alone. I had been seeing a therapist and she kept saying "detach". But never showed me how, this was all I ever knew.
I finally started hitting all my alanon meetings and open aa meetings. These people understood the craziness my life had become. I slowly had the strength to reach out to an attorney for a divorce. Slowly started going through stuff and got my house up for sale. I sold it and slowly found a town home to buy and the divorce went though almost 11 months later. Only with the support of these members, did I survive what I had to do.
I always say that I still love my axh and we talk and see each other. Some days I wish we were together. Then when we are together I am grateful I can be apart from him. My life now is soooooo calm, quiet, peaceful, and boring some times, but I am in control.
I survived and you will too. You need to take deep breaths and tell yourself that you can do this!! You can do anything you put your mind too.
Hugs my friend, we are all here to help you get through this!!