To me your response is perplexing.
You wrote about how the situation was upsetting with lots of mixed signals. Now you are writing that you are messed up, you have decided that you probably jumped the gun on the L word. In your initial post you seemed to be very sure about how you feel, and offended at his response. Now you are listing all the things wrong with you, and all the things right with him.
From everything you have written this guy sounds good. Good for you, and you sound good for him. It sounds like you really enjoy each other, and there is minimal drama. if you feel this: I am not even sure I want to get married in the future or even live with a man ever again. and maybe I'm not in a place where I can be 100% in the relationship as much as I think I want to be. then perhaps his hesitancy to say he loves you isn't important.
I say just enjoy it for what it is - something that makes you happy. If at any time in the future you are looking for further commitment you can discuss with him then.