I agree with Anvil, that was insensitive, selfish and mean.
I think I would have replied "THAT's why I am not in the mood".
You not only have the right to say no, but you are doing the right thing to get yourself together and relaxed enough to take the next step. You get to choose when you will be ready. Duty sex doesn't do anyone any good and that seems to be what he is looking for.
Take your time, there is nothing wrong with needing to work things through. If counseling would help, then maybe try it, alone or with him if he agrees.
You are worthy of love and respect, until that comes in a genuine caring way, then take your time and don't feel forced into anything.
Hugs