If you can somehow drop the condemnation of her, maybe you can drop the condemnation of yourself. Yes, I think you are condemning yourself and that's NOT GOOD for you...
I myself had a "breakthrough" of sorts when I drop the condemnation of others and I soon realized I was able to stop condemning myself. Maybe that will work for you too? Give a try anyways. But I will forewarn you that "dropping the condemnation" was not a simple task. It led to the necessity of working on other issues I was not even aware of...