Hearing Update
So I filed the settlement, he did not come to the hearing but of course as NPD's do, convinced the clerk that he lived SO far away it was a burden for him to return Wed so he got to call in to the hearing whereas I had to be there and take time off of work.
The settlement was approved.
And unlike the default, he can't appeal this one (though I am sure he will try) because he agreed to it.
So, I guess the settlement was good to do in the end.
The judge was not convinced that I was sure about agreeing to it and I almost started to cry. Finally I said that I had qualms and was not comfortable with all parts of it, but that in the interest of being able to have this end, after the Respondent's efforts to prolong it for 3 years and in hopes that by settling, it would mean less acrimony for my kids sake, I agreed to it".
The x at this point muttered "shut the **** up" ON THE COURT RECORD because he was on the phone.
Class act.
So it is done.
And I left the court and have been crying off and on since.
I thought I would be happy and relieved and instead I am sad and feel like I failed at marriage, at being a spouse, at giving my kids a good home and family and I even failed at having a backbone and sticking with the divorce that probably should have been granted on fault grounds.
To settle, I agreed to have it read "irreconcilable differences" so it sounds like Im equally to blame is how the xAH/NPD sees it...
Last night the xAH/NPD wrote me and told me that after much thought he is not planning to return the girls to me this weekend or adhere to the parenting plan and that he will keep them all weekend (therefore keeping me from taking them to my sister's before she moves to Europe to say goodbye) and that I will need to take him to court if I expect him to adhere to the settlement order or parenting plan.
So ultimately, he settled and I settled and now that there is no looming threat of his being exposed in court and he got away with not being held accountable, he's still taunting me to take him to court.
I am worn out, he's still abusing me and I am not sure what to do anymore.