vdgs,
Sorry for your loss.
I am over 8 months clean after binge drinking for that last 30 years. I quit because I couldn't work out like i wanted to and still be a drunk. I nearly collapsed one day after a hard work out. I decided that I have had enough brain damage for this life time.
I am not an overly religious man. I go to church about 3 times a year. Sometimes I wait in the car for my wife while she goes in. I did that this year for mid night mass. But, I believe in God and the Bible.
I believe in the mystery of faith. I believe YOU have been changed by a higher power. Why? Because you asked and you had faith. Even if it was just a tiny bit generated by your need.
Keep the faith. Pray when you need strength. Prayer fills you up so no bad can get in.
That is how it works. I use the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary. They are the only ones I know, except for the kids prayer.
I also have a plan like Dee said. I don't take any anti d.s. I work out. That is my new addiction.
Stay clean. Be a proud sober man.