I has huge resentments too and still do sometimes.
All I know is that I cannot change what others say or do so I have to not let them bother me. My reaction and how I deal with them is all I can change. When I realize this and act on it i start to feel better.
The only way of improving this situation is by getting distance from your mother which really means finding alternative accommodation. Until you are prepared to do this, not much will really change
