Being a jerk...
Good afternoon,
Is there somewhere else you and the kids can go? I'm not saying long term, or even overnight, but maybe just for a few hours? When my RAH was actively drinking (and he was a jerk) and I was detaching/detached, I would simply plan on not being around.
I would load up my kids and go out to do something (run errands, go to the park, etc) or just go to my parents house and hang out for a few hours. I know I'm lucky to live close to my amazing parents, but maybe you have family or a friend who would be okay with you and the kids just hanging out when you need to?
I found it easiest to not become a jerk myself (and engage in arguments, etc), if I just removed myself (and my kids) from the situation.
Good luck to you!