Thank you again, you guys!
I definitely agree that therapy is likely going to be necessary, but I haven't really been able to commit to it until he actually got sober. He is/was an every day drinker. Therapy with someone still active just seems pointless and a waste of time and money given what he spends on booze.
I'm considering doing another round of therapy just for me but haven't decided; in any event it will have to wait until I get another necessary medical procedure finished and paid for later this month. For now, I'm going to amp up my alanon and try to find a sponsor - so far I've been going and reading but haven't actively participated a whole lot with individual people. I'm really shy in person at first and it's been hard for me to reach out.