Good advice above^^^ I don't have a whole lot more to offer, but I definitely relate.
My AH was the same way... controlling about my clothes, etc... If I happened to have a few extra minutes to put on some makeup, or my bra and underwear happened to match each other, well then I must have been going to meet one of my "boyfriends" that day.
In the beginning of our relationship, I tried to only wear make up and matching underwear on the weekends, when I was at home with him, to avoid his anger, and in hopes that it would make him feel more secure... of course there was always something else he would find to get angry about anyway, so I realized it was pointless to even try. All it really did was make me feel like **** about myself.
It was always really hard for me to detach and not let it get to me....
And often times, once I finally did start learning to detach, it seemed the detaching only made him MORE angry, and more of a jerk....making it even more difficult for me to detach...pretty common with the abusers, I think...
HUGS to you. Hope he's able to stay sober this time
