Wheresmyunicorn.......what would you do about unacceptable behavior if you were married to a man who was NOT an alcoholic?
In my opinion, his wanting to dictate to you what to wear.....is not about alcoholism or recovery...but, about control/abusive behaviors.
You are not a child...especially, not HIS child.
He is not your father; nor your superior; not your boss; nor your jailor; nor your judge and jury......
detachment is a tool...one tool...but, it does not fix all situations and all relationships.....
You don't have to defend or explain or justify your every action to him.....
Detachment can help you to gain some mental and physical space from the ridiculous statements and arguments that alcoholics pull....it can keep you from uselessly spinning your wheels....but, it is not meant to paint over unacceptable behaviors......
dandylion