Hummer

Hi everyone, Hope the holidays were restful and best wishes for coming year.
I don't feel any closer to a final decision... I spent Christmas apart from my husband but allowed him home for a week at new year. This was difficult. He is attending addiction counselling weekly. He has told all of his family and friends (and some colleagues) that he was addicted to alcohol and has cut it out of his life completely. He had an open chat with his 3 adult children to allow them to ask anything they felt they needed to know. He never had a drink the week we were together (he can go weeks when we are together so not unusual) and it doesn't sound as though he ever wants to drink again - positive steps I believe although he knows it won't be plain sailing. Trouble is I just don't know how I feel about anything anymore and being neither together or apart is not very good for either of us. I feel like him looking at a dating site when we were going through a dark patch (due to his alcohol consumption) is rearing its head again as well as the cosy, supportive text he had on his phone from a woman in April of last year - do I write those off as blips, albeit major blips, as a result of the drinking and would it be safe to assume that if the drinking has stopped then this will also be behind us. Am I foolish to still believe that he is a loyal man and that he hasn't cheated despite those previous actions? The week we had together was mixed - Nice meals, walks, coffee, shopping and some family time although I didn't feel much like socialising as I fell quite heavy. I was scared of everything falling back into place and we just pick up where we left off and I wasn't all that relaxed as in my mind I am 50% in and 50% out. Do you think I am putting too much emphasis on those two incidents when I should be focusing on what's positive and the actions he has put into place. He really is determined and making great changes to his lifestyle and diet too. Should I bear with it and see if this is finally the husband I wanted and the marriage can be put back on track? Lots of questions - too many!

When he left to return to work (400 miles away) on Monday I felt a mixture of sadness and relief. Tensions were high and sleep not forthcoming - I've enjoyed a couple of good nights sleep since then. We will not see each other again for a while until his twins 18th birthday mid February . He is asking whether I would like more space to work things out etc - I suppose he is trying to give me what I need after focusing on his own needs for so long!
I am attending counselling myself to see if it will help me reach a decision but counsellors here don't tend to give advice and only listen so
I look forward to all your responses. Thank you